Friday, October 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
"I'll never make another movie again..."
I've heard that so many times. I've said that so many times. And if I didn't say it I was thinking it. It's inevitable. Each project I've been a part of has a "why do I do this?" moment. Most of them have several. There's that old saying... something along the lines of it not being about the destination but the journey. Filmmaking... at least for me... is the total antithesis of that statement. It's the end destination that makes you forget the war you just fought and anxious to sign up for another tour of duty.
That's why I enjoy editing so much. It's where you finally see exactly what kind of film you've made and watch it all come together. It's nearly identical to the same process I go through with writing. At first it's a collection of scattered ideas and at first none of them seem to want to work together. It's impossible to reconcile between the version you initially had in your head and the reality of what's actually there. But you keep refining and experimenting and eventually you start to see something resembling that original vision peeking out around the edges. They're never exactly the same but that's what's so amazing to me. To see aspects of your own work you didn't know were buried in there is as strange as it is satisfying.
And like writing, it's a solitary experience. I may get frustrated and overwhelmed but there isn't the pressure of an entire set waiting for you to make up your mind. Production almost always feels like you're completely and savagely butchering your idea. Editing is where you get to take the pieces of the corpse, put it back together, and breathe new life into it. And quite often you discover it's better than its original incarnation.
I'm still in the earliest stages of editing "The Surprise Party". I've probably only cut together about six minutes of footage. And as I learn to navigate new software and keep my patience with the inevitable learning curve, there are parts of this that are so wonderfully familiar. I've got hours and hours of footage sitting on this hard drive. Somewhere inside it a movie is hiding.
That's so daunting. And so f*cking awesome.
I've heard that so many times. I've said that so many times. And if I didn't say it I was thinking it. It's inevitable. Each project I've been a part of has a "why do I do this?" moment. Most of them have several. There's that old saying... something along the lines of it not being about the destination but the journey. Filmmaking... at least for me... is the total antithesis of that statement. It's the end destination that makes you forget the war you just fought and anxious to sign up for another tour of duty.
That's why I enjoy editing so much. It's where you finally see exactly what kind of film you've made and watch it all come together. It's nearly identical to the same process I go through with writing. At first it's a collection of scattered ideas and at first none of them seem to want to work together. It's impossible to reconcile between the version you initially had in your head and the reality of what's actually there. But you keep refining and experimenting and eventually you start to see something resembling that original vision peeking out around the edges. They're never exactly the same but that's what's so amazing to me. To see aspects of your own work you didn't know were buried in there is as strange as it is satisfying.
And like writing, it's a solitary experience. I may get frustrated and overwhelmed but there isn't the pressure of an entire set waiting for you to make up your mind. Production almost always feels like you're completely and savagely butchering your idea. Editing is where you get to take the pieces of the corpse, put it back together, and breathe new life into it. And quite often you discover it's better than its original incarnation.
I'm still in the earliest stages of editing "The Surprise Party". I've probably only cut together about six minutes of footage. And as I learn to navigate new software and keep my patience with the inevitable learning curve, there are parts of this that are so wonderfully familiar. I've got hours and hours of footage sitting on this hard drive. Somewhere inside it a movie is hiding.
That's so daunting. And so f*cking awesome.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
There are memories I have so deeply buried that it almost feels like a story I heard about someone else rather than something I lived through. The most random things can act as triggers that turn these vague recollections into visceral detonations. Today it was a morning run. It made me think about junior high and how awful it felt to go to gym class only to learn we'd be running The Mile that day. The whole class would march outside like prisoners on their way to the guillotine. And not once was it ever any less awful than you'd expected it to be.
I was remembering one of these runs in particular. I stopped to walk for just a minute and became aware that the two girls walking behind me (whose names and faces I remember vividly but will not reveal) were whispering about me. I strained to make out just a few words that might help discern the context of this conversation. But let's face it... I was not the sort of 7th grader who ever got whispered about in regards to how cute he was or anything of that nature. So it didn't take long to figure out I was being made fun of. And then I managed to make out one word very clearly... and my stomach sank. One. Fucking. Word. That's all it took to shatter my entire twelve year old world. You know what it was? You know what she said?
"Batman..."
Sweet mother of monkey balls... these two knew my secret! The cape & cowl wearing skeleton I'd worked so hard to keep in the closet had just escaped. But how? Who had broken my trust and stabbed me in the back?
No, I was not operating under the delusion that I was a pint sized Caped Crusader. That phase had passed a few years prior. But I was still dressing up as Batman... for movies. My first movies as a matter of fact. We had just finished shooting our fourth that weekend. But nobody knew that. Because what we were doing was not cool. Liking Batman was not cool. Making movies was not cool. And I was not cool. The only thing I had going for me was that there were some people less cool than I was. But once word got out that I was jumping around my basement in a cape... forget about it. Game over.
My friends were unwilling participants in these endeavors. And they made sure to let me know it every step of the way. I know they had better things to do than sweat their balls off in a Mr. Freeze costume (oh, the irony) or paint half their face green, but they were there every time I asked and now I realize that makes them better friends than I gave them credit for. Still, their reputations were at stake too and I very selfishly understood that meant they might never help me make another movie again.
I started running again. Away from the girls. Away from everything. But that single word haunted me. I tried telling myself I could have misheard them. Maybe they were talking about someone else entirely. These were hollow consolations. I knew very well what I'd heard. And I knew no 7th grade girl had any business uttering the word Batman in a normal conversation.
It didn't take long to discover what had happened. We'd asked my sister's friend to be in the latest movie. She had played Batman's love interest. And like so many of the women in the Dark Knight's life, she turned out to be one fuck of a femme fatale. See, this girl wasn't living by the same rules as the rest of us. She didn't care about being cool or what people thought of her. So when the teacher started homeroom by asking what everyone did that weekend she told them. The whole class. Then they told more people. Who told more people. Who told one of the girls in my gym class.
By the end of the day everyone knew. I had people singing the 1960's Batman TV theme as I passed them in the hallway. As I got on my bus someone yelled "Did the Batmobile break down?". My friends hated me. I hated me. I went home and cried, completely ashamed of myself.
It's amazing how the things you try to hide early in your life can wind up so strongly defining you later.
I make movies. I love Batman. That's pretty cool.
I was remembering one of these runs in particular. I stopped to walk for just a minute and became aware that the two girls walking behind me (whose names and faces I remember vividly but will not reveal) were whispering about me. I strained to make out just a few words that might help discern the context of this conversation. But let's face it... I was not the sort of 7th grader who ever got whispered about in regards to how cute he was or anything of that nature. So it didn't take long to figure out I was being made fun of. And then I managed to make out one word very clearly... and my stomach sank. One. Fucking. Word. That's all it took to shatter my entire twelve year old world. You know what it was? You know what she said?
"Batman..."
Sweet mother of monkey balls... these two knew my secret! The cape & cowl wearing skeleton I'd worked so hard to keep in the closet had just escaped. But how? Who had broken my trust and stabbed me in the back?
No, I was not operating under the delusion that I was a pint sized Caped Crusader. That phase had passed a few years prior. But I was still dressing up as Batman... for movies. My first movies as a matter of fact. We had just finished shooting our fourth that weekend. But nobody knew that. Because what we were doing was not cool. Liking Batman was not cool. Making movies was not cool. And I was not cool. The only thing I had going for me was that there were some people less cool than I was. But once word got out that I was jumping around my basement in a cape... forget about it. Game over.
My friends were unwilling participants in these endeavors. And they made sure to let me know it every step of the way. I know they had better things to do than sweat their balls off in a Mr. Freeze costume (oh, the irony) or paint half their face green, but they were there every time I asked and now I realize that makes them better friends than I gave them credit for. Still, their reputations were at stake too and I very selfishly understood that meant they might never help me make another movie again.
I started running again. Away from the girls. Away from everything. But that single word haunted me. I tried telling myself I could have misheard them. Maybe they were talking about someone else entirely. These were hollow consolations. I knew very well what I'd heard. And I knew no 7th grade girl had any business uttering the word Batman in a normal conversation.
It didn't take long to discover what had happened. We'd asked my sister's friend to be in the latest movie. She had played Batman's love interest. And like so many of the women in the Dark Knight's life, she turned out to be one fuck of a femme fatale. See, this girl wasn't living by the same rules as the rest of us. She didn't care about being cool or what people thought of her. So when the teacher started homeroom by asking what everyone did that weekend she told them. The whole class. Then they told more people. Who told more people. Who told one of the girls in my gym class.
By the end of the day everyone knew. I had people singing the 1960's Batman TV theme as I passed them in the hallway. As I got on my bus someone yelled "Did the Batmobile break down?". My friends hated me. I hated me. I went home and cried, completely ashamed of myself.
It's amazing how the things you try to hide early in your life can wind up so strongly defining you later.
I make movies. I love Batman. That's pretty cool.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Welcome Ever Smiles
The idea of starting my own blog struck me as slightly self-indulgent. I'm under no delusions that anyone actually cares about the trivial events that fatten my days or the inner workings of a mind best left without an internet megaphone. But there were two very important reasons I felt this might be useful...
1) For someone who considers himself a writer, I don't do enough of it. Hammering out screenplays tends to focus more on brainstorming than the actual act of writing. I miss it. I feel out of practice. I used to write just to write. I'd like to fall in love with it again instead of worrying about deadlines, page counts, and proper formatting.
2) Sometimes shit gets bananas and I just can't update the site as often as I'd like to. But I do want anyone that's interested to be able to see what kind of progress we're making on our projects and this seems like a really great and informal way to do that.
So I want to start by giving a brief overview of where we're at with everything. Our next film is called "The Surprise Party" and we actually shot it months ago. But editing the HD footage proved to be a more taxing experience on my computer than I had anticipated. A complete overhaul of my post-production set-up was necessary and I'm still in the middle of getting everything up and running. The goal is to be cutting the film together within the next couple of weeks. I know the synopsis of it on the site is vague and maybe even a bit misleading. I'm okay with that. =-)
Honestly, I'm really excited to see how this one comes together. The production was a departure from the way I'm used to working and stylistically it's a total 180 from Batman. Once it's done and available I'd love to go into more detail about all the behind the scenes stuff but it's kind of impossible to talk about anything right now without giving away some pretty significant spoilers. Once I start editing you'll see a lot more info about this one start to trickle out.
Right now it looks like the next film we're going to shoot is a sequel to "Batman: Black & White" (which you can watch on the site if you haven't already). It's still in the very earliest stages of development but a few pieces of info are scattered about and there's a post or two on the forum.
I'm also writing & drawing a four part comic book mini-series called "Legion". I'm growing increasingly less interested in traditional origin stories so I wanted to try a different approach to introducing these characters and this world. If it all goes well we hope to have additional mini-series & one-shots to follow it (hopefully involving other artists and writers). We're also very interested in doing a film with these characters and putting it online in a serial format. But right now the focus is on this first series and there's still A LOT of work to do. As of this moment I'm not sure if this will be out before or after the next Batman.
The reason we're even putting this information out there is that I'd like to give a glimpse of what the process is like from start to finish on these films/comics/etc. So in addition to regular blog updates (I hope!) and forum posts (join! it's free!) the plan is to include video diaries and other behind the scenes content so you can watch how it all comes together.
Alright... the obligatory first post is done. Now we can have some fun.
1) For someone who considers himself a writer, I don't do enough of it. Hammering out screenplays tends to focus more on brainstorming than the actual act of writing. I miss it. I feel out of practice. I used to write just to write. I'd like to fall in love with it again instead of worrying about deadlines, page counts, and proper formatting.
2) Sometimes shit gets bananas and I just can't update the site as often as I'd like to. But I do want anyone that's interested to be able to see what kind of progress we're making on our projects and this seems like a really great and informal way to do that.
So I want to start by giving a brief overview of where we're at with everything. Our next film is called "The Surprise Party" and we actually shot it months ago. But editing the HD footage proved to be a more taxing experience on my computer than I had anticipated. A complete overhaul of my post-production set-up was necessary and I'm still in the middle of getting everything up and running. The goal is to be cutting the film together within the next couple of weeks. I know the synopsis of it on the site is vague and maybe even a bit misleading. I'm okay with that. =-)
Honestly, I'm really excited to see how this one comes together. The production was a departure from the way I'm used to working and stylistically it's a total 180 from Batman. Once it's done and available I'd love to go into more detail about all the behind the scenes stuff but it's kind of impossible to talk about anything right now without giving away some pretty significant spoilers. Once I start editing you'll see a lot more info about this one start to trickle out.
Right now it looks like the next film we're going to shoot is a sequel to "Batman: Black & White" (which you can watch on the site if you haven't already). It's still in the very earliest stages of development but a few pieces of info are scattered about and there's a post or two on the forum.
I'm also writing & drawing a four part comic book mini-series called "Legion". I'm growing increasingly less interested in traditional origin stories so I wanted to try a different approach to introducing these characters and this world. If it all goes well we hope to have additional mini-series & one-shots to follow it (hopefully involving other artists and writers). We're also very interested in doing a film with these characters and putting it online in a serial format. But right now the focus is on this first series and there's still A LOT of work to do. As of this moment I'm not sure if this will be out before or after the next Batman.
The reason we're even putting this information out there is that I'd like to give a glimpse of what the process is like from start to finish on these films/comics/etc. So in addition to regular blog updates (I hope!) and forum posts (join! it's free!) the plan is to include video diaries and other behind the scenes content so you can watch how it all comes together.
Alright... the obligatory first post is done. Now we can have some fun.
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